Fears

I'm lost so deep within myself
A place to hide without self doubt
This shell I mold every day
To keep the pain and loss away.

Don't know when it all came about,
Can't seem to really figure it out
So tired of running and trying to hide
And now I suffer so closed inside.

Every day I search my brain
Feeling close to going insane
But, I'm okay, I know I am right
I'm giving these demons a dam good fight

I don't need help or meds to feel alive
I'll take one day at a time I'll survive
After all I came this far on my own
All I need is my talent and I'm home

Sleeping all day awake all night
Thoughts berating my brain what a fight
Tomorrow will come and I will start anew
What's one more day with nothing to do

I've come so far in so many years
Fighting the thoughts, anger and fears
I know I can do it, I've done it before
I'm strong and able to close the door

So many losses along the way
I handled them well think about them all day
Crying incessantly over all the lost years
Alone in my nightmare with all my fears

God help me I'm so angry and confused
So tired of being used and abused
I'll leave it at that life is a lie
We're born, pay bills and then we die

copywriter@2002

Aaronette Wagner Leahy